what i will to do next?

what i will do next?
what i will do if she goes aboard?
what if i back to organitation?
can i join the exchange program?
can i improve my self?
can i start doing a business?
can i make some money?

semua hal itu memutari kepalaku, sampai sesak -___-
aku hanya tak tahu apa yang harus aku lakukan kedepannya, aku pikir, aku harus mencari ide untuk beraktivitas untuk 18 bulan kedepan...
what are you feel when you must let your love get away from you?
aku tak mau sewaktu hal itu terjadi, aku dan ardine jatuh terlalu jauh, jatuh terlalu dalam
baik aku dan ardine pernah punya pengalaman dalam LDR, semoga itu tidak membuat kamu takut untuk menjalaninya :)

what i want to write now is about my self
i dont know why, but i think is different when i talk in English and talk in Indonesia to Ardine. i feel i doing right thing, same purpose, but i dont get a same feeling when i talk in Indonesia. its weird huh?
then she said i will learn by the time... but i still dont understand why i cant feel the same now? why i cant force my self to feel same think in double bahasa?

ardine give me 101 good tips english learning, i will post it in the next entry :D
okay, see you later